Attached at the Hip

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Hips are really cool. Like without hips, how would you walk? Or better yet, how would you shake that bootaay? Without hips you probably couldn’t even live (don’t quote me on that, I only have a doctorate in medical hip studies). Jk I don’t even know what a hip is.

No, but seriously what is a hip? Yes, yes it’s a body part, but isn’t it also the shortened word for a forest dwelling, coffee sipping, Polaroid taking, hat wearing, hipster? Yes, yes it it. Wow I’m really answering a lot of my own questions today. It must be all this hipster air floating around hehe.

Anywayyy hipsters are known to be, well, super hip people. And everyone wants to be a tiny bit more hip, am I right? (Even though right now I’m looking at you thinking, omg does this gal/guy have a degree in hipster?) So since I don’t know anyone who is a full fledged hipster I decided to instead ask my semi hipster friend, me, to help me out. With the help of me along with myself and I, I was able to put together a list of things one needs to do to become a little bit more hip.

  1. Learn how to play the guitar. From personal experience, I recommend garage band. You can tweak the settings so as to trick people into thinking you really do play the guitar. Before you know it you’ll be getting band contracts.
  2. Take really good pictures on old cameras. I’m talking before the 21st century cameras, the ones with actual rolls of film that you have to develop in a dark room. It doesn’t really matter what you take a picture of, it just has to have a woodsy or light blue background. If you want inspiration you can always check out my insta: @lets_katchup
  3. String fairy lights everywhere. Yes, I mean everywhere. You’re shopping at the grocery store? Leave a trail of fairy lights behind you and if the store manager says anything just tell him/her you’re a hipster and you’ll get away with it. Partying with your friends? Embed fairy lights in your clothing and your friends clothing.
  4. Listen to records. Don’t even think about using spotify or pandora ever again. Everything has to be played on a record. You also have to buy really cool looking record holder sleeves to hang all over your room right next to the fairy lights. I get my records at Barnes and Noble, they sell them for like $10.
  5. Wear hats and round sunglasses from now on. It doesn’t even matter what kind of hat you wear, even though wide brim hats are the most popular. Oh and you have to wear them indoors so I recommend you never go in a bank again, because they’ll think you’re a robber or something.
  6. Write everything down in a leather bound notebook. Carry a gold pencil discreetly tucked behind your ear and a brown leather bound notebook in your blue jean back pocket at all times. You see something funny hanging out of your boss’s nose? Write it down right away so you won’t forget it. Just stepped on a rattle snake? Write that stuff down too, it’ll give you something to read and laugh about as you sit through amputation surgery because that “rattle snake” turned out to be a super poisonous viper.
  7. Finally read Haute Habanero 24/7. Everyone knows this is THE spot for hip stuff. Hehehehehe

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Wow, I don’t know about you but I all of a sudden feel superrrr hipster. Thanks me! Here let me cheers your coffee mug and pat you on your hatted head because, you, my friend, are looking so hip right now.

Hip hip hooray…Katherine

Please Wash Your Hair

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Ok, so funny story, yesterday I spent all day partying (partying is just a cool way to say watching Netflix alone with a box of cheerios) and come 7:00 I could barely keep my eyes open. So in between dreams of dancing with Ansel Elgort (he was a really good dancer btw and he smelled like really good coco crisps) and floating on an island surrounded entirely by milk and sleeping in a spoon shaped bed I vaguely remember my sister poking me and words such as “shower” and “clean” being yelled at me. I don’t know.

Anywayy when I finally came to, it was 2:00 in the morning and I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday and I smelled like the inside of a sour captain crunch box (not good). I didn’t want to wake anybody else up and I was still a little doozy so I bravely forgo cleaning myself and silently promised that I would take care of it all in the morning.

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Welll I woke up later then I wanted to (heh heh) so instead of taking a nice cleansing shower I had to scrape on some of my heavy deodorant and cram into a hopefully cute outfit and stumble to the grocery store to buy food (cereal) with the rest of the family.

Long story short I had to go throughout the whole day with greasy, stringy, smelly, sweaty, milk encrusted, hair. It was the worst day of my life. I don’t know how people can skip washing their hair for days. They must all be secret hair gods. If you are one of those hair gods reading this right now could you send me some of that hair magic? Pleeease? I’ll send you a box of lucky charms.

I guess the moral of this whole story is that if you’re anything like me, first of all never go to sleep and secondly wash your hair. Or you know maybe I just wrote this whole thing because I’m hungry for cereal. Heyy I wonder if you could wash your hair with milk…

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Sweaty Hair High-5….Katherine